I had an odd post-theater experience the other day. Returning to
my New York hotel room, I switched on the television to see David
Letterman trailing an appearance by the cast of the
multi-Tony-nominated Kiss Me, Kate. It’s not often you see any
theatrical excerpts on the small screen, though it used to be
quite common: Ed Sullivan felt it was only natural that his show
should include pocket-sized productions of Broad-
way hits. But,
although Letterman’s “Late Show” is broadcast from the Ed Sullivan
Theatre, CBS is not so insane as to let him keep up the old
traditions. So I decided to stay up for Kiss Me, Kate. In the
commercial break, there was a Gap ad: if you haven’t seen this
latest campaign, it uses the score of West Side Story and posits
a rivalry not between Sharks and Jets but between rival gangs of
Jeans and Khakis, or wearers thereof—they being the retail
giant’s two big sellers. So, for thirty seconds, Bernstein’s
definitive jittery urban riffs wailed across the air, the Khakis
(in this case) rumbled, one in their midst emerged to sing,
finger-snappily, the final line: “Just play it cool, boy. Real
cool.” And then the tag: When You’re A Khaki.

Two minutes later, Letterman introduced the cast of
Kiss Me, Kate to sing “Too Darn Hot.” And about thirty seconds into “Too Darn
Hot,” I realized I preferred Gap “Cool.” I don’t shop at The Gap;
unlike my fellow scribe