I shall piss against the North Wind
And make rain in Alaska.
I shall stamp my foot—thus
And give migraine to all Manchuria.
I shall spit but once in the Mississippi
And swamp the souring cane of Cuba.
Even—forbid it—by bursitis disjointed
I shall beat out spanking rhythms
On every mono-buttocked bum
Who squats the seat of power.
I shall do more wonders to astound you!
I shall grow avocados in a concrete mixer
Whilst pouring foundations for plastic plants.
I shall explain life to you,
As well as electricity, gravity, money,
Magnetism and the reason for fireflies.
I shall make you glad you are yourself.

Truly, everything is possible to the cheerful hero
As nothing is improbable to the sober wise:
Palmy Eden awaits his outstretched hand
And he goes to Heaven when he dies.

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This article originally appeared in The New Criterion, Volume 4 Number 2, on page 45
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https://newcriterion.com/issues/1985/10/everything-is-possible-to-the-cheerful-hero