6.16.2003
Four recent examples of how not to submit your material to The New Criterion
[Posted 3:41 PM by Stefan Beck]
“My review of Wit is possibly the thing. � Here’s your chance. However, because I’ve been at the butt end of your snobbishness before, I’m not holding my breath but also submitting to The Hudson Review and other houses, en meme temps. Signal you’re interested and I’ll cancel the Hudson et al.”
“At any rate, I hope that this poem will “meet (your) current needs.” (But fuck it, I know better. And whom am I kidding here? I doubt if you will even read this letter let alone respond to it. Look here, let us, both you and I, face facts; this is all a charade, a sometimes polite but nevertheless, an eternal pro forma fandango of a closed, ’good ol’ boys’ network of barely second and third-rate manques poets; dilettantes and minimalists at best, and at worst, well I really cannot say. So why even bother, one might reasonably ask. Perhaps I do this solely with the intention, ambition and aforethought of simply annoying you–that is to say, if you even read this missive of mine–which perhaps might be the most I can truly hope for.”
“My current occupation as a Literature student at an exclusive Silicon Valley university provides ample motivation and material to explore the art of prosody, yet to let my art grow, simple encouragement in the form of publication is necessary.”
“I look forward to trampling the flowers on your grave.”